Yeah!! I made it.

I completed the course despite every possible 'road block' put in front of me. I won't get the mark I was originally aiming for, but I will obtain the credit. All I can say to this is 'Thank you' that I had a professor who really understood what I was dealing with. Without that I would have done the usual and withdrawn from the course and ultimately feel like a failure and burden to those who love and support me everyday.

I will make Connor proud! And I hope I am setting a good example for him and his future.....lots of time he is only 2 after all!

So I will redefine the scope of this blog to write about issues that I am interested in; some may be related to my courses and the rest may come from any number of sources in this day of information saturation.

FGM/FGC and Infibulation

In reading the two articles-- "Unmasking Tradition" by Rogia Abusharaf and "I said No to Female Genital Mutilation" by Genet Girma--I was physically sickened to know that these practices are still being conducted and in some cases condoned. Other than increasing sexual pleasure for men, there really is no benefit and for the victimized woman there is life long scarring, pain and excommunication should she refuse to be cut.
I praise the Ugandan President Museveni who has banned the practice in Uganda,in support of the United Nations resolution that FGM is a violation of women's rights. In his announcement, he makes a succinct point: “The way God made it, there is no part of a human body that is useless. Now you people interfere with God’s work. Some say it is culture. Yes, I support culture but you must support culture that is useful and based on scientific information....”
With all of today's modern medicine and sterility in medical settings tragedies still happen; I can't imagine what it is like for a young girl to be told she is being 'purified' and then taken to a shack in the woods, tied up spread eagle and sliced up with a razor blade bought from the corner store. It is a barbaric practice and one which I hope continues to get the attention of leaders who will have the courage to 'Say No!' as President Museveni has.

Various types of FGM

Unwanted Pregnancies with Few Options

In the United States (a first world nation, I think?) abortion and women's right to choice continues to be an extremely controversial issue. Of course we all hear of the radical protests, the picketing at abortions clinics and of course the Roman Catholic church has their opinion as well. However, it is emerging that many women in the US are trapped into a vicious cycle of having to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term for economic reasons. Basically, they can't find the money to fund their abortion. As well, if they do have insurance that has a component of government funding they are only allowed a Medicaid paid termination in cases of rape, incest and danger to the mother.
I continue to shake my head in astonishment that a nation that is so advanced in so many ways, can build so many barriers to control a woman's reproductive health. I'm not shy to state that I am pro-choice, I firmly believe that every woman, rich or poor should have full access to determine if she wants a child. Being forced to care for an unwanted child in the first place can be a burden that is almost too much to bear; I honestly cannot imagine the suffering and agony a woman would have to endure every day.

During my pregnancy around 14 weeks I had an ultrasound and quite by accident they realized that I was hours away from a miscarriage. I recall one of my doctors sitting with me explaining my options; but before she went too far she asked me point blank, do I want anything done or do I just want nature to take its course? I chose to have the surgery and have my wonderful Connor with me each day. But I am so fortunate that I live in a society where I am ultimately in control of what happens with my body's reproductive abilities.

I'm not sure this is something we covered in class but it was an interesting article I read on 'Womensphere'. I see abortion in the US as being on of those conversations that can't be won, like religion or politics. Everyone has an opinion and they think that theirs is right. Sadly, the US has many years of debate before they can progress and offer women the full control of their bodies as it should be.

Tired Stereotypes in Media

In class we did discuss stereotypes in the media, with a focus on women, race and class. In a related article "Stereotypes in the Media" written by Stephanie A. Harper , she points out that one of the most popular areas of stereotyping is in Hollywood entertainment especially when it comes to portraying minorities. As she indicates, they are depicted as more violent, their language is more harsh and that generally this sort of portrayal only serves to fuel the already tenuous relations between minorities and whites in America. She also covers racial bias in the news and finally the role of women in the media.
To succeed in Hollywood or in media culture as a woman you must be fabulous. Perfect bodies (often air-brushed), perfect sensuality and seductiveness and when needed women also need to know their place and be submissive.
There is nothing new in this article that has not been discussed and analyzed many, many times; having said that when will the public wake-up and say that's enough! We can blame media and related industries for perpetuating stereotyping but in the end we are consumers and they are only providing what we demand.

The Body in Medical, Scientific and Socio-Cultural Discourses

In response to the class handout entitled above.

1. How do I define 'masculinity'/'femininity'? What kind of bodily attributes do I associate with 'masculinity'/'femininity'? I've been brought up in the 'western' world with all of its media influences and accompanying stereotypes. Thus my understanding of the masculine/feminine, would be that firstly, there are the physical attributes--the manliness, the virility; then there are lifestyle considerations like risk taking (eg: extreme sports), male camaraderie that is very different from the feminine equivalent. As for femininity, I see there being a much stronger cultural connection to the acceptable. As far as men or manly men seem to be risk takers, females or femininity dictate the stereotypical nurturing qualities of mothering. As for bodily attributes again I have to defer to the stereotypes that the mass media has pounded into our subconscious. Masculine men are strong, toned, basically eye candy. Feminine women are presented a plethora of media images to pressure them into looking/acting a certain way. Examples, high heels are sexy and glamorous, long eyelashes (how many brands of mascara are available these days), and also plastic surgery to obtain the perfect body.
2. How would I describe myself and body? A young, youthful woman who (on most days) makes the concerted effort not to fall into the 'frumpy mom' look that is so very easy to become a victim of. As for my body, post baby, there are many things I'd like to improve. Breastfeeding is great for the baby, but leaves me purchasing bras at $200 a piece just to look normal. Much of what I am not pleased with I workout to address, but I have not completely ruled out plastic surgery to fix the uneven c-section scar.
   
3. Do I know my body? What do I generally say when referring to my body? Most definitely I know my body. When appropriate I use the proper names for body parts and other times I make use of 'made-up' names. I'm not one to use slang in general so phrases like 'junk in the trunk' don't apply to my lifestyle. However, my son is now becoming aware of his and others' body parts and he notices that Mommy is different from Daddy...so for now I tell him the two pillows he loves to cuddle up to are 'boobies'. He's only two!
4. When I see my doctor the language we use is clinical, I'm fortunate enough to have a female doctor so sometimes I can describe things a little more graphically if need be. There is a sense of appropriate professional detachment, but once the physical exam is over it's almost like having a chat with a good friend. I don't feel there is a deliberate distance in place, she is a professional and thus must conduct herself accordingly. When I had a male family doctor it was definitely more awkward....I usually couldn't wait to leave the office.
5. I have been hospitalized too many time to count! However with the exception of one particular visit, I have been treated very well. Here I can go off on a tangent for my support for two-tier health care, but I shall remain focused. However, I will share that when I had my son, there came a point when they had to break my water...the nurses in labour and delivery were superb, in that the immediately changed the sheets while commenting that some of their colleagues just put some extra towels. Once I was transferred to post-partum ward I recall asking the nurse if she could stay with me while I had a shower and her response was 'you aren't that dirty'. I don't recall asking her opinion on my level of cleanliness....
6. Wow! What do I do for my body? Well, I try to exercise daily at least for an hour, I also like to take pilates, and I try very hard to eat well and to eat small portions. Post baby it's takes longer to see the results, but eventually I do.
   
7. Pleasure for me is decadence....indulgence, really great food, massages, being pampered, and most importantly intimacy...foreplay does not last for two minutes!
8. I am very fortunate to have my husband who is just as comfortable discussing the intimate aspects of our physical relationship. I'm not one for sharing with my friends; however one of my husbands close friends did comment that 'Mona looks like she would be very open to trying new things'. Said friend's wife who is the closest thing to a best friend and I think his basis for that comment was how very 'proper' she is.
9. I'm very easy going...live and let live. There is not much that makes me uncomfortable with the exception of Gay Pride week...I have no problem with their sexuality, and their celebrating it; however is it really appropriate to walk around bare naked (except for shoes and a hat) with a very large piercing dangling from one's penis? Time and place...
10. My body is definitely shaped by genetics...not really knowing my biological father's family very well, I do realize that I carry some of their characteristics. But then again there is my very wonderful mother who is always giving me tips on how to dress, eat, sit, stand etc.... I'm fortunate enough that my body is my own and it is not shaped by confines of religion or cultural influences. I will admit that I prefer to be thinner and more fit....and though I can achieve the fitness, the thinner is always hidden by these massive breast. Once I make a final decision on another baby, they will be reduced!

This isn't Funny!

As part of reading a few articles to determine a topic for my research paper I cam across an article about the Chris Brown / Rihanna saga. I'm going to be blunt...this woman is dumb, does she really think a few kind work and 'counselling' with his pastor and mother are going to make a difference. If you've see the photos this wasn't an attack out of uncontrolled rage (not that that is acceptable either), he savagely beat her and left her at the side of the road. Sounds like true love....On this topic I came across this cartoon depiction of the two sides of the argument and how society can trivialize such a devastating experience:

On a personal note, I was unfortunate to once be in a verbally abusive relationship...luckily I saw the signs, but did not have a way out at the time; however the day he said "I just really want to hit you" is the day I got dressed, got my purse and ID and drove our car to the airport...just before boarding the plane home to my parents I called and left a message of where the car was. I left every material thing behind, including my car. I'm very proud of myself for doing that, and keeping a promise I made to myself as a child--that I would never let anyone hit me. At that young age I didn't realize how complex and violence and control can be.

Random Commentary

This entry is not about a particular reading or discussion, rather it is a short comment on my personal reaction to the materials we are covering in this course.

As I go back and review some of the articles I am reading them faster and in many cases just scanning through; the one thought that keeps running through my mind is how did society ever tolerate this....but then again the same can be said for slavery, religious persecution and a host of other transgression brought upon our species. Apparently 'we' are advanced, educated and blessed with brilliant minds. However, it is these same men, in these instances, who are responsible for some rather heinous acts against women and the mentally ill. It is ironic that women were seen to need 'therapy' for almost everything short of being born, but men could hide behind science and experiments for the greater good and continue their sanctioned torture. Sadly, I know this still happens in parts of the world and not all of these places are the lesser developed nations.

Power over the weak or those perceived to be weak is still the most addictive drug in the world.